Cerulean Flow: A Writing Site

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 21:15:38 GMT

I haven't posted in a while...haven't been in the mood to really write.

But I am now? Anyone want to start reading stories again? Let me know :)

The Girl in the Mirror

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 19:46:43 GMT

One

So, you’ve discovered my journal. About time you did so. I was wondering when you would. You’re so pathetic, you couldn’t even find this book, which was right under your nose the whole time. Are you that into your studies that you can’t see that I felt it for you? Yes, you are truly pathetic.

Anyway, I bet you are wondering what this is. Well, dear, it’s your journal. Well, sort of. This isn’t the happy-go-lucky, sweet pea journal you’d write if you kept such a journal about your stupid life. This is a journal about what really happens when you aren’t looking. This is a journal of the part of you that you keep trying to hide, and fail miserably doing so. This is the part of you that you keep ignoring, that you keep repressing so that it won’t come out. Well, baby, I’m right here, in the world, and in the words of this journal. Now, as you read these adventures, it’s about time that you realize who you really are and stop hiding it all time.

You aren’t fooling anybody. You might think you’re Little Miss Perfect, but we both know what’s not true. You can’t ignore what has happened to you, no more than you can stop breathing. It’s time that you look at yourself in the mirror and realize who you really are. It’s about time that you stop kidding yourself. You’re going to have to free me sooner or later. It’s good to be free, and it’s about time you freed me. I won’t let you stand around, acting all innocent forever. Eventually, you will realize who you really are.

If you don’t believe me, continue reading. Do you think I’d write this for my own health. Hell, no. This is the other side of you that you keep on hiding. Whenever you look at yourself in the mirror, this is who you don’t want to see.

Well, baby, once you read this, you’ll see me now.

She is dreaming…she is dreaming of a passionate love.

A man and a woman roll all over the bed, kissing each other with searing, passionate kisses. He glides his hands all over her body, his warm tongue slides against her nipples before sliding inside her mouth. She kisses him all over his body, his mouth, his shoulders, his chest. Her tongue tastes the sweat on his skin before rolling against the length of his cock. They moan in intense pleasure, enjoying the feel of each other. When he turns her over and begins to taste her pussy, her moans turn into screams.

They can’t wait any longer. He plunges hard and deep into her, and he can’t control himself. She screams for him to fuck her, to make her pussy all his. He grunts like an animal, obliging her. She tells him how good his hard cock feels inside her, telling him to come hard and deep, but not yet. He moans, enjoying it all. Before he can come inside her, she slips away and turns him over. She gets on top and begins to ride his cock wildly. His fingers rub against her clit, and she really loses control. They can’t hold back their sounds of pleasure. They fuck each other like animals, the odor of sexual juices and sweat fills the room.

Their orgasm shatters the walls, and reverbs throughout the house. It seems to last forever. Even in their shallow breaths, the orgasms continue.

“Tell me you love me,” he manages to whisper. He tries to reach for her hand, but she pushes it away. “Tell me you love me.”

“No. You know that I’m not in it for love. I’m in it for a good fuck.”

“But we have a connection…didn’t you feel it? What we have is real.”

The girl laugh is filled with wickedness. “Oh, we have something real all right. A real good fuck. So stop asking me to tell me you love me, because I don’t. There may be a part of me that would love you, but I’m certainly not that part.”

He wraps his arms around her, and she chuckles, amused. She humors, and lets him hold her. But in the end, it means nothing.

She wakes up. She gets dressed. She gets her books.

She can never look at herself in the mirror very long. She enough to brush a lock of hair behind her ear or to smooth out her skirt. But never enough to really take a good look at herself.

She leaves for school, with a smile on her face. Today would be a normal day, except she finally going to make the first move in a very sweet courtship.

She doesn’t notice the black leather journal sitting on her nightstand.

She goes on as if everything is okay.

Her name is Misa, and she has no idea that her life is about to change.

It’s the end of the school day for Misa, and her companion, young man. They gather their books and head over to a bench near the park area of their college campus. They look very comfortable with each other, and they begin to have a chat.

They don’t know that someone is watching them from afar with slits of eyes. Someone who doesn’t like the sight of them together.

“I have no idea how I’m going to pass this upcoming test,” the guy tells her. “I’ve been keeping up with the class, but everything is so confusing. I don’t know why in the world I decided to take Western Civ one with Mr. Koelher. Everyone says he’s confusing, but I didn’t listen.”

“He’s not that confusing, Riley,” Misa responds with a smile. “You just have to really listen to what he is saying. It’s not that bad once you get the hang of him.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get the hang him, Misa. That’s why I’m thankful for your notes. Without the, I’d be failing this class.”

“You wouldn’t fail the class, but thank you for the compliment.”

She looks at him, and he looks at her. There is a sweet intensity in their eyes. The look is of chaste affection. They turn away, chuckling nervously. Misa can feel tingling in her cheeks. She really likes is, which is why she wishes to take the next step in their makeshift courtship.

It was the right time.

They’ve known each other for several months now. Their dance has been a virtuous one. Sometimes going out for coffee or tea, usually studying, never and official date. There is attraction, but no physical affection. Just like children when they get to know each other. Everyone around them considered them to be an item, but Kiley and Misa never made it official among themselves. But after so long, it felt like the right time, at least to Misa.

The right time to actually date someone…without going too far, of course.

“So, um, Kiley,” she begins nervously, “I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about you and I.”

“Oh?” The interest in his voice jumpstarts her heart. “What about you and I?”

“Well, I…” She loses her nerve, and struggles to get it back. “I was thinking that…maybe, you know, since the school is always having a mixer every weekend for the students, we should, you know, try to go to one and see what it’s like. I’ve heard their really nice, and who knows, we might actually have a good time.”

There is a look of astonishment on Riley’s face. Her heart drops into her stomach. “Go to a mixer together…as in a date?”

“Well, yes, but…but it doesn’t have to be a date if you don’t want it to be, you know, it could just be two friends going out to a mixer together.” She can’t read the expression on his face. “Of course, it you want it to be a date, that’s okay, too…”

Riley’s chuckle does nothing to ease the tension. It makes her even more tense. “Are you asking me out on a date, Misa?”

He calls her out. Misa feels the heat rising to her cheeks. “Um…yes…no…maybe…yes?”

His smile makes her heart melt. “I would love to go to the mixer with you, Misa, as your date.”

“Really?” A weight is lifted from her body. “Really, you’d like to go, as my date?”

“Yeah, why not? That is, if you consider it a date.”

“Of course…but only if you do.” There is a cuteness in the way they interact with each other. “So, when is the mixer?”

“Oh, it’s this Saturday, in the gym. It starts at seven or eight, I think. They’ll have the lounge area open, in case it gets too hot. Also, I think there’s a pizza place that’s open late in case we get hungry.”

“Sounds good to me. If you want, I can pick you up from your house as well. Unless, that’s being too forward.”

“Ah…” The though makes her uneasy, but she can’t bear to tell him. “That’s okay, I can meet up with you at the mixer. If we end up staying there too late, I can just take a cab home. I don’t want to trouble you.”

“It’s no trouble at all. Besides, I wouldn’t be a gentlemen if I didn’t at least take you home.” His smile is warm and kind. “Is that all right with you?”

Misa can’t find it in her heart to protest. “All right, I guess that’s okay.”

“Great!” She can see that he’s excited and it fills her with anticipation. “So, I guess, it’s a date, then.”

Misa nods. She succeeds in her goal. “Yes, it’s definitely a date.”

----

Misa and Riley say their goodbyes, and they head into two different directions. She still doesn’t know that there is someone who watches her. Someone who watches her with angry eyes and a heavy heart. She doesn’t notice him following her, stalking her with furious strides. Something inside her my recognize the presence, but she can’t be bothered to notice it.

----

She takes a shortcut through a narrow path beside the library. The stranger makes a move. Misa gasps. The stranger grabs her from behind and drags her into a hidden spot within the path where no one can spot them. Before she realizes what happens, she feels lips crushing against her own. Fear grips her. She is paralyzed with fear.

“Were you trying to make me jealous, baby?” The husky whisper floods her ears with an uneasy creepiness.

“I know what you’re trying to do, and it’s not going to work.”

“What are you talking about?” Misa tries to break free, but the stranger’s grip is strong. She can sense that he is male. His cologne burns through her nostrils. “Let me go! Please, let me go! Don’t hurt me?”

“But, I thought you liked it rough.” He pushes her against the wall, and Misa feels real terror as his hands drifts all over her body. He stomach churns in disgust. “Come on, baby, lighten up. I know we only meet at the club, but when I found out that you got to same school I do, I couldn’t stay away. I had to see you.”

He tries to kiss her again, but she protests, turning her head away. “What are you talking about? I have no idea who you are. You’ve got the wrong girl!”

She gathers her strength and manages to push him off of her. She tries to run away, but the stranger grabs her and pushes her back toward the wall. She tries to get away, but it her actions only amuse him.

“Ah, so you want to play innocent, huh? Be all damsel and distress-like? Okay, baby, I’ll play your game. I’ll play any game you want, as long as I can be with you again.”

He reaches for her, but her instincts take over, and she smacks him with her book bag. He doubles over, profanities spewing from his mouth. She doesn’t wait for him to speak. She flees from him, all to eager to get away, to get home.

“Is that anyway you treat your lover, Selene?” He spats out. Misa stops, the word “lover” reverbs inside her ears. “You can mindfuck me emotionally, but you have to hurt me physically, too?”

She doesn’t bother looking back, asking him what he meant by lover. She simply runs away, into the distance where he can’t see her anymore.

Even after she’s far away from the school campus, the name “Selene” echoes through her ears. He called her Selene. He said she was his lover, that they were lovers. He said this Selene his mistook her for hurt him.

Yet she’d never met him once in her life. He had to have been mistaken. She couldn’t have been his
lover. She was still a virgin. She’d never been close to a man, much less been a lover to one. Riley was the only guy she’d ever tried to pursue a relationship with in the twenty-one years of her existence, and even that was pretty chaste.

She feels something in her body stirring. Selene…what an odd name. It seems familiar to her, but at the same time, it didn’t. Selene…she couldn’t recall anyone ever calling her that, and yet, she did. Selene…a girl who she looked like and was mistaken for her, but she definitely wasn’t this Selene.

Selene, Selene, Selene…

She was mistaken for a girl named Selene. A girl who is the lover of the man who attacked her.

It all seems strange and peculiar, but just like that, Misa puts it out of her head.

She wasn’t this Selene person. Far from it. It was as simple as that.

----

Another morning, she awakens from her bed. There is a sense that she doesn’t know where she is, or what she’s done…like she awakened from a dream that seemed real, but was not. A faded memory.

She gets up, goes to the washroom, gives herself a glance in the mirror. Same blue night shirt, same white night pants. Her hair is loose and wavy. She blinks, thinking that she put it into a ponytail before bed, but thinks no more of it. She prepares for school, as if it’s a normal day.

She still doesn’t notice the black leather book by the nightstand. She goes on about her day.

It’s the day she’s going to the mixer with Riley, and she wants to look her best.

----

She goes to a trendy boutique in a mall twenty minutes away from her house. She decides to look for something trendy, a deviation from her normal wholesome and prudent clothing.

After a little perusing, she finally settles on an outfit that suits her tastes - a royal blue cotton shirt dress and a pair of light blue flared jeans. She didn’t like how the jeans, while they looked nice, were so low on her waist, but the outfit all together was very nice, and the shirtdress would cover her waist anyway.

Misa smiles at the look of it. She’s sure that Riley will like the outfit. He seems like the type of guy who likes cute and trendy, not the type of outfit that’s supposedly sexy and leaves nothing to the imagination.

She pays for her purchase and heads out of the store. She looks around the mall a bit, checking out all the new items that have just come in for the new season. She has some time to kill before she needs to ready for the mixer. She debates on grabbing a sandwich, or a pretzel with warm cheese to munch on.

She passes by the lingerie shop. A black lace bra shows itself off on a well-proportioned mannequin, sitting in a seductive pose meant to garner a few stares. It catches her eye. She can’t help but notice how it looks more like something for special occasions than it does for every day wear. She can’t even believe that she’s looking at such a tacky thing. She tries to walk away, but her eyes never leave the mannequin. It’s as if something is keeping her there. What, she doesn’t know.

The body goes still.

Her surroundings begin the fade.

And she hears voices from within.

A blurry picture comes into view.

----

His lips feel hot on her skin. He pushes her against the wall, in that secret corner of the room, moving his hands all over her body while kissing and licking the sweat off her neck. She’s enjoying it. She moans and giggles, amused by his actions. Tonight will be enjoyable if he keeps going on like that.

“Oooh, you smell so good,” he murmurs between kisses. “You know that perfume drives me crazy.”

“No shit, Sherlock, that’s why I wear it.” That voice… “I want to drive you crazy.”

She cups his face in her hands and pulls him into a steamy kiss. They both moan as their tongues lap and twist against each other. It’s so hot, it’s so very hot. Eventually, she’ll want him to tear off all her clothes, it’s so hot…

He’s starts to. He reaches over and quickly unbuttons her shirt, and his eyes widened when he sees it. A lacy bra, black, seductive…exactly the garment to make him lose control. His breath becomes jagging, and his eyes are wide with hunger. She did it, that did it…control was no longer a factor.

“Oh, I see you’ve found your prize,” she coos, smiling. “I wore it just for you, because you say it makes you crazy. Does it make you crazy, baby?”

“Ooooh, yeah!” He licks the sweat from between her breasts. “Baby, you’re so good to me. I’ve got to have you, I’ve got to have you?”

“Hey, don’t rip it! It’s expensive!” He pushes up her bra, and attacks the nipple. She feels closer and closer to coming right then and there with ever swirl of his tongue. “Oh God, yeah…that’s right, baby, lose control. Fuck me like you promised you would.”

He kisses her, crushes his mouth against her mouth. She smiles, very pleased, as he buttons her jeans, and fumbles for a condom.

The black bra is a wonderful bra indeed.

----

Reality comes back to her with a deep, sudden breath.

It takes her a moment to realize that she’s still in the mall, in front of the lingerie store. Who knew a bra could be so engrossing? With a nervous laugh, she walks away, thinking that she should have that pretzel right about now.

She has no idea what exactly she just experienced. It’s already faded.

After a quiet sigh, reality is firmly in place.

----

Misa gets ready for the dance. She puts on her outfit, and it looks a lot better than it did in the store. She curls her hair and puts it into a ponytail. She considers make-up, but decides against it. What’s the point, anyway? She thinks she looks pretty with a natural face. She’s sure that Riley likes her with a natural face as well.

She glances at the mirror. A chill travels down her spine. She likes the way that she looks, the outfit really suits her. The glance turns into a gaze, and a gaze begins to morph into a stare. More chills travel up and down her spine. It takes effort for her to turn away. She stumbles out of her room, feeling dizzy. She’s never looked at herself for so long before. She can’t even remember the last time she looked at herself in the mirror for more than five seconds, let alone more than a minute.

She hears the jiggle of her cell phone. Her senses snap back. She rushes to her room, grabs it and flips it over on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.” The voice brings a smile to her lips.

“Oh, hey Riley! I’m on my way there now! I’m just getting things squared away here.”

“Oh, that’s cool. Unfortunately, someone called in sick at work here, and I had to add an hour to my regular shift.”

“Oh, that’s too bad. Are you still able to come to the mixer?

“Yeah, but I won’t be able to meet you until about 8:00. Is that okay?”

“Uh, yeah, sure, no problem. I hope everything will be okay there.”

“Don’t worry about it, it’ll be fine. I’m really sorry about this, Misa. I’m still looking forward to hanging out with you at the mixer tonight.”

“I’m looking forward to seeing you too, Riley. Just make sure you hurry up get there before you miss out on the fun!”

“I will. See you soon, Misa.”

“See you later, Riley. Bye.”

She can’t help but feel a little disappointed. She was really looking forward to arriving at the mixer, and enjoying his reaction to her in her outfit. But, it will have to wait, at least for a little while.

From Reliant (public)

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 21:48:11 GMT

The American Library Association tracks challenges against books made in school and public libraries across the country. Remember, for every challenge recorded, there are four or five that are not, and
some of those regrettably lead to a book being pulled from the shelf, especially in school libraries.

From the 100 Most Challenged Books 1990-2000, bold the ones you've read and pass on the meme. If you're committed to the freedom to read and to publish, pick one off the list that you haven't read and exercise your library card or better yet, buy one for a child :-D

1. Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
2. Daddy's Roommate by Michael Willhoite
3. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
4. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
6. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
7. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
8. Forever by Judy Blume
9. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
10. Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
11. Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
12. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
13. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
14. The Giver by Lois Lowry
15. It's Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
16. Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
17. A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
18. The Color Purple by Alice Walker - BARELY!
19. Sex by Madonna
20. Earth's Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
21. The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
23. Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
24. Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
25. In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
26. The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
27. The Witches by Roald Dahl
28. The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
29. Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
30. The Goats by Brock Cole
31. Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
32. Blubber by Judy Blume
33. Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
34. Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
35. We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
36. Final Exit by Derek Humphry
37. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
38. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
39. The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
40. What's Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide
for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
41. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
42. Beloved by Toni Morrison
43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
44. The Pigman by Paul Zindel
45. Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
46. Deenie by Judy Blume
47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
48. Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
49. The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
50. Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
52. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
53. Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
54. Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
55. Cujo by Stephen King
56. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
57. The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
58. Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
59. Ordinary People by Judith Guest
60. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
61. What's Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for
Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
62. Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
63. Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
64. Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
65. Fade by Robert Cormier
66. Guess What? by Mem Fox
67. The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
68. The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
69. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
70. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
71. Native Son by Richard Wright
72. Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women's Fantasies by Nancy Friday
73. Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
74. Jack by A.M. Homes
75. Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
76. Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
77. Carrie by Stephen King
78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
79. On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
80. Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
81. Family Secrets by Norma Klein
82. Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
83. The Dead Zone by Stephen King
84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
85. Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
86. Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
87. Private Parts by Howard Stern
88. Where's Waldo? by Martin Hanford
89. Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
90. Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
91. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
92. Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
93. Sex Education by Jenny Davis
94. The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
95. Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
97. View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
98. The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
99. The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
100. Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

"For Good " from the Musical Wicked. Music and lyrics by Stephen Schwatrz.

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 20:56:51 GMT

ELPHABA
I'm limited:
Just look at me - I'm limited
And just look at you -
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
(spoken) For both of us
(sung) Now it's up to you:

GLINDA
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you:

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

ELPHABA
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you:

GLINDA
Because I knew you:

BOTHI have been changed for good

ELPHABA
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for

GLINDA
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

BOTH
And none of it seems to matter anymore

(Sung Simuntaneously)
- GLINDA - Like a comet pulled - ELPHABA - Like a ship blown
- GLINDA - From orbit as it - ELPHABA - Off it's mooring
- GLINDA - Passes a sun, like - ELPHABA - By a wind off the
- GLINDA - A stream that meets - ELPHABA - Sea, like a seed
- GLINDA - A boulder, half-way - ELPHABA - Dropped by a
- GLINDA - Through the wood - ELPHABA - Bird in the wood

BOTH
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better?

GLINDA
And because I knew you:
ELPHABA
Because I knew you:

BOTH
Because I knew you:
I have been changed for good.

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 01:13:02 GMT

My friend, artist Félix Lavallée, drew a rendition of Naiya is his sketch journal.

You can visit it here. It's the entry for September 21. Isn't she pretty?!